Posts Tagged ‘school age’

Recently on The Parenting Show, a mom called in asking about how she could help instill good study habits in her child.  I explained we need to act as coaches to our children instead of imposing our solutions and tactics on them.   

But what is coaching?  

Here is a true story that will help explain: 

Yesterday my daughter came home with a “pink slip” that I had to sign.   The pink slip was entitled “MY HOMEWORK EXCUSE”.   She had to write her “excuse” for why she didn’t get her homework handed in.  She wrote “I did not manage my time in class responsibly”.    

This is pretty standard school tactics.  Here is how to “coached it up” for her.  

Change the word “Excuse” (which has negative implications) and call the slip  ”Plans for Self-Improvement” 

Instead of just writing down what made things go off the rails,  include an action plan for the future.  

On my daughter Lucy’s note, I just had her write it on the back of the note.  She wrote: “I will ask for all the materials at the beginning of the lesson.”  

What I found interesting in the whole situation is that the “excuse” Lucy wrote initially was not really the issue anyways.  She used a prefabricated and “acceptable” answer parroting back what teachers say generically all the time.  This misses the entire point of PROCESSING the situation, and PROBLEM SOLVING for a future better outcome! 

Coaching allows for both in a supportive positive way.

~~~~~~~

Alyson Schäfer is a psychotherapist, parent coach and popular public speaker. She teaches parent education classes and works with parents one-on-one in her parent coaching practice.

“Breaking The Good Mom Myth” is Alyson’s first book. Written with wit and wisdom, you’ll laugh while learning how to let go of perfection and get on with raising great kids.

Alyson hosts The Parenting Show on Rogers TV (Show times). Visit Alyson’s website!

Daytripping

As toddler or preschooler starts discovering the world around them planning day trips to fun and exciting places is a great way to help them discover their community and world around them. The start to a successful daytrip involves a little planning from mom and dad.

• Call ahead!  Either call the venue or check their website to double check hours and to make sure the venue is open to the public on the day that you are going.  Many places have online coupons for money off the price of admission.

• Pack it! Many venues do have healthier options for eating.  But, we suggest packing your own healthy snacks and drinks.  Use a mini cooler in the car, or a lunch bag with a cool pack to help your food stay cool.  This will also help keep the cost of your trip down.

• Distractions!  Bring you child’s favourite music in the car!  Have a sing-a-long to your little one’s favourite tunes.  For older children you can play “I Spy” or any other roadtrip game!

• Mapquest it!  Make sure you know where you are going.  We suggest getting driving directions from your door to the venue.  Also, take your cell phone and the number of the venue – just incase.

• First Aid!  Pack a mini-first aid kit for any bumps, scrapes and bites.  Include sunscreen and bug repellant.

• Spare Clothes! Bring a change of clothes for both you and your toddler.  You never know when you’ll need them.  While you are packing the spare clothes.  Bring an extra pair of comfy shoes for you.

• Have Fun!